rec room home | I fought the Law

the listener
by Officer Howald, Badge #072719

rec room needed money cause we had none
I fought the Law and the Law won…

Dear rec roomers:
I can't tell you how happy I am that you have paid your debts to rec room society. With your honest attempts at rehabilitation and reconciliation, I think you can be released back into society at large. Seriously though, you helped us reach over 100% of our fundraising goal for the evening. And this money isn't going to waste--our next big project will be a book about rec room featuring its many artists and performers. We couldn't do it without you.

For those of you who were unable to make it, "I fought the Law" was a ridiculous--and by ridiculous I mean raucous partying fun--show featuring poems, slutty cops and robbers, stories, bondage, and the musical theft of Psychojail. It was like a seventh season episode of Law & Order, you know, the season with Jerry Orbach and Benjamin Bratt as detectives Briscoe and Curtis… Thomas Hodge read three pieces from his chapbook. At one point, I giggled while his narrator described the desire to kill someone. I apologize. Sometimes it's like I can't help it, all the violence just gets funny, like in the movie version of "American Psycho" when Christian Bale runs around naked, covered in blood and chasing his next victim with a chainsaw. Hilarious. After Hodge chilled us with the notes of both psychiatrist and narrator, Officer e.t. thrilled us with a poem about making out with the cop poet, and other interesting stories about growing up with them Indiana boys on an Indiana night. Louie Holwerk read us some work where he showed off his great "country" voice and had us all laughing at the idea of stoner ninjas. Tommy D'Angelo reminded us that yes, we want things until we get them, and that yes, it is quite unfortunate to be stoned and hungry with paper as the most edible thing around you.

During the break Psychojail made one wrong move and found themselves under arrest. The audience quickly responded by posting bond, but we raised the bail to keep that menace off the streets. I mis-told a story about how I was on the Ricky Lake Show (I was, that's no lie, and yes, there was a contract saying we were responsible for the production costs--$15,000--if we were caught in a lie). Margaret Chapman listed the ways in which she totally fought the law, and Corrections Supervisor Meg Barboza shared a story about her school friends who've been in jail way too much. Sheriff Eli announced that Psychojail had made bond, just in time for them to bust out of prison for some jailhouse rock. (Oh god, did I just write that sentence?)

I don't know, after BTS (he is a beautiful woman) crawled on the floor and flashed us some, the evening devolved--or evolved, actually--into a dance party. Just like every evening should. top